My Name Is Earl: "Randy's Touchdown" Review

            Synopsis:

           

            Earl is in a good mood as the episode starts. Since discovering karma, he has felt better about himself. Since he started crossing people off of his list, more good things have been happening to him. As he explains to Randy how good he’s been feeling lately, Randy notices that someone wrote, “u r an ass” on Earl’s car. Earl knows who did this, and immediately goes to confront her at the trailer park.

             Joys taunts Earl about the ordeal, and tells him that if he calls the police, she’ll inform them of the time he and Randy stole a refrigerator. Earl just wants Joy to leave his stuff alone, but Joy demands half of his lottery money. Earl needs the money to cross stuff off of his list while Joy needs it to provide for Dodge and Earl Jr. Since she divorced Earl and married Darnell, Joy hasn’t been stealing as much because Darnell isn’t cut out for crime. Joy has taken to pawning old items for the extra income—including the cuckoo clock that once belonged to Earl’s grandfather.

            Earl and Randy drive down to the pawnshop because Earl doesn’t want to see his family’s only heirloom being auctioned off in a seedy neighborhood. While he’s there, he decides to cross off another list item—fixed a high school football game.

            In a flashback, we see Randy playing football for his high school team and Earl betting a $100 on him to lose. Randy had the ball and was on his way to scoring a touchdown when he sees Earl’s hand signals and purposefully fumbles the ball.

            Back in the present, Earl pays back Rosie, the pawnshop owner he made the bet with. She is disgusted, and threatens to stomp on his “sweaty little tea bag.” She’s also upset with Randy, accusing him of throwing away could have been a great accomplishment in his life just because Earl asked him to. Earl realizes that he didn’t just cheat Rose out of $100…he cheated Randy out the experience of scoring the winning touchdown for his team.

            Earl puts Randy on his list and decides to get Randy back into high school so he can score his touchdown. He gets fake birth certificate from Kenny James and hires the electrolarynx guy to pretend to be Randy’s father and sign the paperwork. To make sure Randy had a chance to play, Earl picked the school with the worst team in the league. Randy is not the oldest person on the team.

            After his first day of school, Randy is excited to tell Earl what he learned in science class. Before we were humans, we were monkeys. That’s not quite how it works, but okay. As Earl and Randy wonder what we were before we were monkeys, they notice that their car has been stolen. Earl knows who was behind the theft.

            Back at the trailer park, Earl confronts Joy about the car. Joy informs him that she had the car towed and that it is now at the impound. She tells him that she’ll give it back to him when he gives her the lottery money. Earl is relieved to know that Joy didn’t realize Earl’s money was in the car. Unfortunately, Randy immediately let’s the cat out of the bag.

            Earl and Randy rush over to the impound. They beat Joy, but discover that they can’t retrieve the car because Earl owes $3,000 in unpaid parking tickets. When Joy comes in, she tries to claim the car as her own. The guy in charge doesn’t car whose car it is, he’ll give it to whoever gives him $3,000.

            Earl and Randy try to climb over the electric fence to get to the car. It’s only active at night. Unfortunately, the impound workers spot them, and turn on the fence, sending them flying. Joy tries to get a $3,000 loan from the government. She tells Darnell to wait in the car because she’s afraid she won’t get a loan if she’s seen with a black man. She reconsiders this when the insurance agent she talks to turns out to be black. She even tries to have Darnell “say something black” in order gain the advantage, but it doesn’t work. She can’t borrow money against a rented trailer with a carbon monoxide leak.

            At the motel, Randy asks Earl for $20 so he can enter the science fair. This is impossible because all of Earl’s money is in the car. Earl also tells Randy that he’s supposed to be scoring a touchdown. Catalina points out that Randy’s already growing his potato battery. Randy gets an idea from one of his textbooks—a Trojan horse.

            Earl calls Kenny and tells him the plan. He’s going to use Kenny’s car as his Trojan horse; he’ll hide in the back while Kenny gets the car towed. Once he’s at the impound, he’ll hop out of the back, get his car and money, and go back to the high school to watch Randy score a touchdown. There’s only one problem with this plan; Earl is too big to fit in the back of Kenny’s car. Kenny offers to do the plan himself.

            As Randy gets psyched for the big game, Joy and Darnell sell their belongings to the pawnshop in order to get $3,000. After selling almost everything they own, they’re still short by $1,500. Joy notices a cart full of cans and bottles and immediately steals it.

            Kenny’s car is towed, setting the plan in motion. Earl is happy he can witness the full game, and invites Catalina and the electrolarynx guy to come along with him. Darnell picks up cans and bottles in a ditch while Joy is selling her loot to the local recycling plant. She returns quickly and tells Darnell to stop because an entire cart full of cans was worth only $8. But that’s $8 in 2005 dollars, so that’s worth, like, $9.74 today! Since they pay buy the pound, Joy’s figures they need heavier cans. She sits on the guardrail, which gives her an idea. A minute later, the guardrail is loaded into the back Joy’s car.

            At the football game, Randy is struggling. All those years of sleeping and drinking had taken their toll. Earl wonders where Kenny is. He’s still at the impound, hiding in the trunk from the Dobermans his aftershave had attracted. With less than a minute left on the clock, Randy gets the ball and charges for the goal. Earl and Catalina cheer as it looks like Randy will finally get to score that touchdown. At the last moment, however, Randy drops the ball, and the game is lost.

            Things are looking bad for Earl after the game. He and Catalina can’t find Randy, and Joy drives up, having successfully raised the $3,000. Yes, that means the recycling plant actually took the guardrails.  Earl knows that if Joy gets to that car, his life will be ruined, so he starts running. We see a montage of Earl running down the street and past the trees as he makes his way to the impound. He runs as fast as he can for as long as he can. However, he’s almost as out of shape as Randy, and barely makes it out of the school parking lot.

            Earl and Catalina walk along the street, having given up. Just then, Randy drives up to them in Earl’s car, holding the locker box that Earl stashed his lottery winning. It turns out, Randy had made a $3,000 bet against his team before the football game started. He fumbled the ball on purpose again. Earl is happy to have his money back but is disappointed that he once again caused Randy to give up his touchdown. Randy tells Earl that he didn’t force him to do this. He did this because they’re brothers. Randy figures the feeling of getting a touchdown is about the same as driving up to Earl having saved his money and his future. Earl and Catalina decide to lift Randy up like the team would have done if he had scored a touchdown. Randy’s a bit too heavy for them to lift.

            Earl goes back to Rosie to pay her the $3,000 they got from fixing another game. Kenny is let out of his trunk by one of the impound workers. The worker and Kenny fall in love and share a weekend together in wine country. Earl gives Randy $20 to enter the science fair. For his work, Randy receives a “Participant” ribbon. As Joy drives to the impound, she swerves to avoid a homeless man pushing an empty cart—the same homeless man she stole the cart of cans from earlier on. She and Darnell crash into a ditch—which had previously been blocked off by the guardrail that they stole.

            Best Quotes:

            Earl: “Randy, there’s something to be said about waking up in the morning and feeling like a good person.”

            Randy: (looking to the side) “You are an ass.”

            Earl: “What?”

            (Randy points off screen)

            (Cut to a shot of Earl’s car, which has graffiti reading, “u r an ass” scrawled on the door)

           

            Earl: “Those aren’t my kids, Joy.”

            Joy: “That doesn’t matter. They have grown accustomed to a certain quality of lifestyle that you provided for them with all your crookery. Now, I tried to get their new daddy to fill your shoes, but unfortunately, Darnell is not cut out for crime!”

            (flashback of Darnell snatching a purse from a old lady)

            Old Lady: “Hey!”

            (Darnell starts to run away, but then stops and turns around to return the purse)

            Darnell: “I’m sorry ma’am, I shouldn’t have did that.”

            Old Lady: “That’s okay. Are you hungry? I think I have a candy bar in here! Would you like a candy bar?”

            Earl: “Where’s my grandfather’s cuckoo clock?”

            Joy: (lighting a cigarette) “I pawned it.”

            Earl: “What!?”

            Joy: “What, you think cigarettes grow on trees?”

            Earl: “I can’t wait to see Rosie’s face when I pay her back.”

            (cut to Rosie grabbing Earl by the collar and smashing his face into the window)

            Rosie: “You disgust me, Earl Hickey! Fixing a game! I should pull you through this talking hole and stomp on your sweaty little tea bag!”

            Earl: “This may sound crazy, but…I think you have to go back to High School.”

            (the cuckoo clock rings)

            Randy: “That was weird.”

            Earl: “Somebody stole my car. Randy, my money was in that car!”

            Randy: “Who’d want to steal your car? It’s a piece of crap with ‘asstronaut’ painted on the side.”

            Earl (voiceover): “It was at that point that I realized that Joy had no idea that my money was actually in the car.”

            Randy: “Hey Earl, Joy had no idea that your lotto money was in the car!”

            Earl: (frowns exasperatedly)

            Randy: (smile disappears)

            Joy: (Has a an expression that just screams, “Oh Snap!”)

            Joy: “Look, you know I don’t see color, but these people are never going to give me $3,000 if they see me here with a black man, okay.”

            Darnell: (walks away angrily)

            Joy: “It’s not me, Darnell! It’s America. I don’t make the rules!”

            (Ten seconds later)

            Loan Officer (a black man): “So, they tell me you’re looking for a loan?”

            Joy: “Yeah; You know what, I left something in the car. I’ll be right back!”

            (Cut to Joy and Darnell talking to the loan officer)

            Joy: “We really only need the money for, like, and hour or two.”

            (The loan officer looks from Joy to Darnell, and then down to his paperwork)

            Joy: (whispering to Darnell) “Say something ‘black.’”

            Darnell: (looks offended)

            Earl (Voiceover): “Joy didn’t realize it doesn’t matter if you’re white or black. You can’t borrow money against a rented 1972 trailer with a documented carbon monoxide leak.”

            Loan Officer: “I’m sorry.”

            Joy: (walks away angrily)

            (Loan Officer watches Joy’s behind as she leaves)

            Loan Officer: (to Darnell) “Nice pull, brother!”

            Darnell: “Right on!”

            Kid: “Are you ready!”

            Randy: “I’m ready, are you ready!?”

            Kid: “I’m ready, are you ready!” (pounds fists on Randy’s shoulder pads)

            Randy: “I’m ready, are you ready!” (pounds the kid’s shoulder pads way too hard, possibly knocking him out)

            Additional Notes:

            Ethan Suplee previously played a High School Football Player in Remember The Titans.

            Earl hires someone to pose as him and Randy’s father rather than going to his real father for help. This is because, as we later find out, Earl’s dad hates him.

            Conclusion:

            As Earl continues to go down a more positive path, his relationship with his brother improves and goods things happen to him more and more. In contrast, Joy is continuing to live a life of crime and karma is not giving her an easy time. This is the first episode in which Earl deals with a list item involving a family member and it won’t be the last. These episodes were, in my opinion, some of the best the show had to offer because proving yourself to your family is the most important step to proving yourself to the rest of the world.

My Name Is Earl: "Quit Smoking" Review

            Episode Two of My Name Is Earl is called, “Quit Smoking,” and it introduces Donny Jones (Silas Weir Mitchell), a former friend of Earl’s during his days as a petty criminal. The episode also begins with an narration of Earl describing how he found karma and wants to become a better person before title-dropping the show. All of Season One’s episodes have this narration. The narration is shortened to just the title drop from Season Two on.

            You know the kind of guy who does nothing but bad things and then wonders why his life sucks? Well, that was me. Every time something good happened to me, something bad was always waiting around the corner. Karma. That’s when I realized I had to change. So I made a list of all the bad things I’ve ever done and one by one I’m going to make up for all my mistakes. I’m just trying to be a better person. My name is Earl.

            Synopsis: At the motel, Earl is having a difficult time deciding which list item he should tackle. He considers making up for number 86, “stole a car from a one-legged girl” (a flash back shows a panicking Earl in said car, hauling ass from a one-legged girl wielding a double-barrel shotgun), but then considers making up for one of his many transgressions involving Joy. Over at the trailer park, Joy is fuming that Earl didn’t give her half the lottery money that he won right after she divorced him. It looks like Earl isn’t the only person karma has a bone to pick with.

            As Earl mulls over the list, Randy and Catalina come up to him and give him a “quit smoking” tape to help him…take a wild guess. Randy had accompanied Catalina to the yard sell where he got the tape. He’s had a crush on her ever since he first saw her and called dibs. Earl lets Catalina pick an item on the list; number 112, “let Donny Jones serve prison time for a crime I committed.” Earl and Randy both look scared at the mention of Donny’s name.

            In a flashback, Earl explains how he robbed a donut shop. He caught a cold, and had to run without his loot when a sneeze revealed that the gun he wasn’t a real gun, but a water pistol. At least Earl was smart enough to put a bag over his head, although we can still see the outline of his mustache. The security camera revealed that Earl was “borrowing” one of Donny’s shirts. Donny had a criminal record and he had caught Earl’s cold, so when he was called to the police station to stand in the suspect line, he was screwed. He was found guilty and served two years in prison.

            Back in the present, Earl decides that he’s not doing Donny Jones. Instead he’ll quit smoking. He does this by lighting up a cigarette, taking one puff, and then throwing it in the trash. Everyone who’s ever had trouble with a cigarette addiction, you’re doing it wrong. Randy knows Earl is scared of Donny Jones and the flashback that follows reveals it’s not hard to see why. Donny was apparently bipolar and once beat the shit out of a paperboy for tossing a newspaper at his beer can.

            Earl tries to quit smoking. However, he finds out that this is stressful. This leads him to continue smoking. Catalina and Randy wonder if Earl needs a “push” to overcome his fear of Donny Jones, but Earl denies it.

            At the trailer, Joy stumbles upon a video tape labeled “Earl’s Video Will.”  She and Darnell decide to watch it. It was of a drunken Earl proclaiming that he wants Joy to have everything he owns if he ever dies. This gives Joy an idea. She goes to a weapons shop to buy a gun, but is informed of a three-day waiting period. Undeterred, she buys the next deadliest thing in the shop—a crossbow.

            Earl tries to quit smoking by listening to his guidance tape. He’s not listening very hard, because he continues to smoke while doing so. He also doesn’t notice two crossbow darts strike the fence on either side of his head. Luckily for him, Randy and Catalina call him over to the car before Joy can send a properly aimed dart straight through his forehead.

              Randy and Catalina claim to be taking Earl to the slushy place. In reality, they take him to Donny Jones’ house. Earl’s protests result in Catalina honking the horn in order to get Donny’s attention. When they finally do, she and Randy speed off and leave Earl alone with Donny.

            As Earl sits down with Donny, we both hear in the narration and see in the scene, that Donny has “crazy eyes.” As his mother knits in the background, Donny explains that Randy and Catalina had come by earlier and told them that the reason Earl was coming over was to talk with him about his list. Earl explains that his list is about every bad thing he’s ever done and that he is trying to make up for them. Donny thinks Earl had an awakening like he did when he was in prison. It turns out that Donny had found Jesus and gave up his criminal life. He’s got a big tattoo of Jesus on his test to prove it. He also has Moses parting the red sea on his…erm…derriere, but it’s not shown.

            We see a flashback of Donny reading the Bible in prison (and not joining in on a prison riot), followed by him explaining to Earl that, “forgiveness is the way to salvation,” by showing him a comically oversized Bible, written in size 72 font. This belonged to Donny’s mother, who has lost her eyesight but refuses to get reading glasses.

            After hearing all of this, Earl decides to gather up his courage. He confesses to Donny that he was the one who robbed the donut store. Donny glares at him while, in the background, his mother stops knitting and turns her head. Earl is unnerved, and we get another flashback (in which Donny steals a cop’s gun out of its holster and taunts him) to remind us that Donny used to be crazy. Earl asks Donny what Jesus would do. A fuming Donny looks into his shirt and asks his Jesus tattoo what he would do. After a long pause, Donny calms down and forgives Earl, reasoning that even if he hadn’t robbed that store, Donny would still have ended up in prison any way at some point.

            Earl is relieved as he crosses Donny off his list. As he turns to leave, however, Donny’s mother smacks him in the head with her Bible.

            Mrs. Jones is angry and demands the Earl put her on his list. She wants him to give her the two years she was without her son back. Earl doesn’t know how to at first, but after she finishes hitting him with the Bible, she goes back into the house to smoke. As Earl watches, he gets an idea.

            In the next scene, we are back at the Motel and Earl has bound and gagged Mrs. Jones, as well as duct taped her to a chair. Apparently, she refused to come on her own. Darnell comes in with some cookies, but tells Earl not to eat them because they’re poisoned. He tells Earl about the video will that Joy found and about how she is planning on killing him for his lottery money. Earl thanks him, and he leaves. At no point does he acknowledge the old woman duct taped to a chair.

            Randy and Catalina come in and unlike Darnell, they notice Mrs. Jones. Earl explains that he has to help her quit smoking in order to ensure that she live longer. This will make up for the two years with Donny that he took away from her. Earl also pledges to quit smoking along with her. He takes the gag out of her mouth. Mrs. Jones tries to call for help, but keeps falling into coughing fits. After her fifth attempt, she agrees to join Earl in quitting smoking.

            We see a montage of Earl and Mrs. Jones attempting to break their addiction. They try the anti-smoking tapes. They try nicotine patches. They try carrots in place of cigarettes but are unable to get them to light. Eventually, after three days and several burnt carrots, they successfully quit smoking.

            Earl drives Mrs. Jones back to Donny’s house and reflects on his actions. As he crosses Donny’s mother off his list, Joy shows up behind the car with a gun. Too bad for her, because Earl had also made a new will during the three days he spent with Donny’s mom. Joy no longer gets anything for killing him.

            Best Quotes

            Joy: “I still can’t believe that son of a bitch won the lottery right after I divorced him!”

            Randy: (to an old man speaking with an electro-larynx) “Say Luke I am your father.”

            Old Man: (electronic voice) “Luke, I am your father.”

            Randy: -grins gleefully-

            Earl: “I don’t want to do Donny Jones, I don’t even know where he lives.”

            Randy: “Oh, they got big yellow books to figure that stuff out, Earl!”

            Catalina: “When someone’s scared of something, they need a friend to push them to overcome that fear.”

            Randy: “Yeah, like throwing someone in the ocean who’s afraid to swim, or putting a snake in a young girl’s bed!”

            Joy: “I’ll take this.”

            Gun shop owner: “There’s a three-day waiting period for guns.”

            Joy: “’Land of the free,’ my ass. Fine, what can I walk out of here today with that will kill somebody?”

            Gun shop owner: “Anything on isle four.”

            Randy: “It’s for your own good, Earl. This is your snake in the bed.”

            Earl: “I don’t want a snake in my bed!”

            Donny’s car has a bumper sticker that reads, “Jesus is my airbag.”

            Randy: “Earl, how come you got Donny’s mom tied to a chair? (sees cookies) Ooh, cookies!”

Earl: “Randy, those are poisoned!”

Randy: (disappointed) “Oh, okay.”

(less than thirty seconds later)

Earl: “Randy!”

(Randy has picked up the cookies and is about to eat one)

Earl: “Those are poisoned!”

Randy: (looks at cookie, then at Earl) “How poisoned?”

Earl: (beyond exasperated) “Put it down!”

Catalina: “This is the sweetest, most justified kidnapping I’ve ever seen.”

Randy: “How many have you seen?”

Catalina: “Five or so.”

Earl (voiceover): “Quitting smoking is a lot like prison—if you can make it through the first three days, you’ve got a fighting chance.”

Additional Notes:

-This episode is the first to hint at Catalina’s troubled past; she mentions that’s she’s witnessed five kidnappings.

-The three-day waiting period on the gun that Joy purchases indirectly saves Earl’s life. If she had been able to purchase it immediately, Earl would probably have been killed while listening to his anti-smoking tape.

-Earl’s video will was recorded over a family video on the camera that Earl stole. The video starts with a family celebrating over their elderly Aunt Millie walking again before a rough cut to Joy yelling at Earl to remember to steal the instruction manual the next time he steals a camera. Earl’s will was probably never legally valid, but if it was, it shows how broken Camden County’s legal system is.

Observation: Despite being a big part of Earl’s past, Donny Jones is not seen in many episodes. This is a shame, as he’s always been good in every episode he’s been in. Not only that, but he’s trying to redeem himself, much like Earl is. I imagine the reason Donny was underused was because his actor, Silas Weir Mitchell, had a more major part on Prison Break around the same time as My Name Is Earl was on the air.

           

            Conclusion: This episode is the first to reveal that it will be more difficult for Earl to cross people of the list than he thought. Donny wasn’t the only person negatively affected by Earl robbing the donut store. Donny’s mother suffered as well. Throughout the series, Earl will learn that his misdeeds harmed more than just the people he put on the list. They harmed the families and friends of his victims as well. The knowledge of this helps Earl develop more empathy for people as the show goes on.

            

My Name Is Earl: Review of Episode One

            My Name Is Earl is a show that ran on NBC from 2005 to 2009, starring Jason Lee, Ethan Suplee, Jaime Pressly, and Eddie Steeples. The premise of the show was simple: Earl Hickey (Jason Lee) is a petty criminal who spent his whole life doing bad things. One day, he won a lottery ticket for $100k and was immediately run over by a car. While in the hospital, he learns about karma by watching Last Call With Carson Daly. He sets out to right his past wrongs and makes a list of all of his past sins. At first, Earl is mostly doing this so that bad things will stop happening to him. Along the way, however, he discovers that doing good things makes him feel good about himself, something he’s never experienced before. His journey turns him into a better person.

            I watched My Name Is Earl with my family regularly while I was growing up. It was one of our favorite shows. The writing was great, the message was uplifting, and the humor was very edgy, thanks to the characters. Re-watching the show, I’ve noticed the characterization was a little different in the first few episodes. Earl is more concerned with stopping bad things from happening to him than with genuinely helping people. Joy (Jaime Pressly), Earl’s ex-wife, is much crazier in the early episodes than from roughly the mid-point of Season One onward, being obsessed with getting the $100k Earl won. Randy (Ethan Suplee) is more of a lazy bum mooching off his brother Earl than he is a simple-minded man-child. He was only like this in the very first episode, though. The writers were quick to make him more likable. Darnell (Eddie Steeples), Joy’s husband, is shown with a few family members in the early episodes, and there is no hint of him being a former spy who is in the Witness Protection Program. That was not worked out until late in Season One. It was interesting to watch these characters evolve over the course of the show.

            In this blog post, I’ll be reviewing the very first episode of the show, simply called, “Pilot.” Most of the episodes will be named after things on Earl’s list.

            Synopsis: The episode begins with a shady, casually dressed man walking into a convenience store in the middle of nowhere. As he buys a pack of smokes and a beer, we hear a voice over narration from Earl, describing himself as, “the kind of guy you wait to come of the store before you and your family go in.” Voiceover Earl says that if you took the time to get to know him rather than stereotyping him based on his appearance, you’d be wasting your time because he’s exactly who you think he is. Earl looks around from the side of the store to see if anyone’s watching, and then quickly runs over to a car in the middle of the parking lot to steal the valuables inside.

            Earl continues his narration, explaining the important details of his life. Six years ago, he met a woman named Joy while drunk in the Crab Shack, the local bar that all the main characters hang out in. Joy got him even more drunk and then drove him out to Las Vegas, where they got married. He didn’t remember this when he sobered up the next morning, but he did notice that Joy was six months pregnant. Joy didn’t remember much about the baby’s father as the pregnancy was the result of a drunken one-night stand at a rock concert. The only thing she remembered about him was that he drove a Ford, so she and Earl named the baby, “Dodge.” Already you can tell that these people will be winning all kings of great parenting awards.

            A year later, Earl and Joy had another baby together, who Earl named, “Earl Jr.” Unfortunately, it turned out that Earl wasn’t the father of this kid either. Joy had cheated on him with a black guy. The guy in question was Darnell, the manager of the Crab Shack. Earl didn’t realize that this was guy Joy cheated on him with, even though Darnell is one of the four or black people that live in Camden County, the setting of the show. Yeah, Earl isn’t very good at deductive reasoning.

            We come back to the present, and we see the life Earl and Joy are leading. They live in a mobile home in a trailer park. Dodge and Earl Jr are running around and making a mess of the place while Earl just slouches on the couch and watches TV. Narrator Earl says that he stays with his cheating wife and two illegitimate children because he “believes in the sanctity of marriage.” I’m sure. The trailer is also home to Earl’s brother, Randy. Randy’s daily activities include sleeping, watching TV, sleeping, eating, and sleeping. Occasionally, he’ll join Earl and Joy when they’re stealing something. Which is usually every night.

            We return to the Crab Shack. Earl and Randy enjoy coming here because Darnell serves them things he’s not legally allowed to put in the crab cakes. For reasons unbeknownst to Earl, Joy likes to come here as well. It’s been five years and Earl has not figured out that Darnell is the man Joy is cheating on him with. Seriously.     

            After this exposition, we see Earl return to the convenience store and scratch off a lottery ticket. Seeing that he won $100,000, Earl takes off into the street shouting about how rich he is…straight into the path of an elderly driver. The happiest ten seconds of Earl’s life ends as he gets plastered. The ticket flies out of Earl’s sight as he loses consciousness.

            Earl spends the next three weeks in the hospital doped up on morphine. Joy tricks him into signing a divorce paper and tells him that she and Darnell are moving in together because Darnell’s parents threw him out of the house for growing weed in his closet. This might seem like it contradicts all of the later revelations that Darnell is a super-intelligent ex-spy trained by his own father who he hasn’t seen in years, but that’s because it does. Joy also says that Earl Jr, “really needs to be with his daddy,” and Earl finally learns who Joy has been cheating with. Seriously Earl, I know you didn’t finish High School, but a GED was really not required in order to figure that one out.

            As the days go by, Earl is flipping through the channels when he comes across an episode of Carson Daly. Daly explains to his guest why he was such a good life. “What goes around comes around. If you do good things, good things will happen to you. If you do bad things, it will come back to haunt you. Karma.” Earl sits up and his eyes go wide. “There it was,” his narration continues, “Karma. The secret of life coming straight from Carson Daly’s lips through my morphine-laced ears.”

            When Earl is released from the hospital, he and Randy, having no where else to go, check into a motel. Randy immediately develops a crush on the maid, Catalina (Nadine Velazquez), and calls dibs on her. Earl is thinking about what Carson Daly said, and explains to Randy and Catalina that he wants to change his life because it sucks. He made a list of all the bad thing’s he’s done and wants to make up for them because he’s afraid karma will kill him if he doesn’t.

            Randy reads from the list as Earl goes down to the motel pool to pick up the trash, as littering is on the list. Randy wants to know how Earl is going to make up for all of it while Earl decides to start with the easy ones. Randy tells Earl to cross littering off of his list, but Earl replies that he needs to pick up as much as he’s littered. Randy complains that the list is stupid but Earl insists that it’s his road map to a better life. As Randy complains that’s he not cutting into his beer money for some “stupid-ass crusade,” the $100,000 lottery ticket rides the wind right onto Earl’s shoes.

            Earl has the ticket cashed in and stores the $100 grand underneath the dashboard in his car. You might think that this isn’t a safe place to store all of your money, but that’s because it isn’t. After buying the thing he’s always wanted for his car (a lock), Earl picks the first item on his list to make up for; “Picked on Kenny James.”

            Earl and Randy drive to house belong to Kenny’s parents, as they don’t know where Kenny lives. Earl is not a good liar, so he sends Randy in. Randy is an excellent liar, but only after he’s drank exactly four beers. Randy gets Kenny’s address from Kenny’s parents. Unfortunately, he agrees to stay after Kenny’s dad offers him a beer. After nine beers, Randy sees Kenny’s mom bending over and tells Kenny’s dad that he’s calling dibs on her. Randy escapes through the back yard as four cop cars arrive on the scene.

            After the escape, Earl and Randy find Kenny’s house. Earl is feeling guilty about the way he treated Kenny James. In a flashback to grade school, we see Earl torment Kenny in a game of kickball. When Kenny kicks the ball, Kenny tries to run to first base. Earl catches the ball, but decides that isn’t enough. So he kicks Kenny in the groin, pushes him to the ground, and throws the ball onto his head screaming, “you’re out!”

            Back in the present, Earl watches Kenny for the next few days, unsure of how to make things up to him. It turns out that Kenny had a decent life. He was the assistant manager of the local Copy Hut, owned a nice car, and had the nicest house on the block. A major contrast to Earl, who is unemployed, owns a shitty car, and lives in a motel. But Earl notices that Kenny isn’t very happy. He lives alone. He’s missing something special in his life. So Earl hires a hooker in order to get Kenny laid. I don’t think Earl understands what relationships are.

            The hooker in question is a daytime hooker named Patty. She’s middle-aged and not very attractive. Despite this, she still seems to get more action than most of the other prostitutes in Camden County. Earl and Randy send Patty into Kenny’s house, hoping that one afternoon of loveless, paid-for sex will be able to cure Kenny’s loneliness. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t. In fact, Patty and Kenny never have sex at all, even after Patty pulls out her good boob.

Irritated, Earl and Randy decide to go into the house themselves. Randy wonders if Kenny will remember Earl. He does, and freaks out upon seeing him. Earl tries to calm Kenny down and offers to find Kenny a woman, but Randy notices several gay magazines in Kenny’s table drawer. Earl and Randy back out of the bedroom slowly and then freak out and run away from the house.

             Back at the motel, Earl says that Kenny is off the list, claiming that since Kenny is gay, it’s a special circumstance. Randy is happy, but Catalina protests that it’s against the rules. Earl claims that since he made the list, he makes the rules, and that means that he doesn’t need to help gays. I don’t think karma has a gay exemption policy, Earl.

            As Randy goes to get a cheeseburger from the vending machine, Earl and Catalina walk into the motel room to find that it has been ransacked. Joy comes out of her hiding place and smacks Earl upside the head with a rotary phone. Joy is furious that Earl won a $100,000 in the lottery and didn’t tell her, and demands to know where Earl is keeping the money. Earl refuses, and Joy storms out, determined to find a way to get Earl’s lottery money. As Joy drives away, Earl realizes that karma is mad at him for refusing to help Kenny. He may have made the list, but karma makes the rules.

            Earl returns to Kenny’s house at night and waits for Kenny to come home from work. Kenny is startled to see Earl in his house, and warns him that he bought mace. Earl tries to calm Kenny down, but Kenny panics and tries to spray Earl with the mace. Unfortunately, the can was facing the wrong way, and Kenny sprays himself by mistake.

            After Kenny recovers a few hours later, Earl asks Kenny why he doesn’t have a boyfriend. Kenny asks him why he wants to know, and Earl explains to Kenny that he is on his list. He tells Kenny about the list, about how his life sucks because he’s done bad things that he wants to do some good things so that good things will start happening to him. Kenny tells Earl that he doesn’t have a man because he lives in a small town in the South and is afraid of how they would react. He tried going into the city to find a gay bar, but he didn’t have the nerve to go inside.

            Earl, realizing what he has to do, reluctantly offers to accompany Kenny into a gay bar so that he’ll be less scared. Randy comes along after Earl tells him that there would be bubbles. Earl is about to go up to gay and ask if he is interested in Kenny when Kenny stops him. Kenny has finally worked up the nerve to ask another guy out and tells Earl that he’s helped him regain his confidence after taking it away when they were kids. Kenny goes off to dance with another man as Earl crosses him off of his list. The episode ends with Randy jamming to his favorite song.

            Best Quotes:

            Randy (about Kenny’s sexual orientation): “Earl, I think you’re trying to sell a cat to man who fancies dogs.”

            Earl: “You got great boobs, Peggy!”

            -Joy glares at him-

            Earl (narration): “Her name was not Peggy.”

            Joy: “My name is Joy”

            Earl: -shrugs- “You got great boobs, Joy!”
            -Joy smiles, and then she and Earl start making out-

Earl (narration): “She kept buying me drinks and then she drove me to Vegas. By the time we sobered up, we were married.”

            Earl (narration): “There he was…(Earl gives Joy a confused look; Joy forces a smile)…Earl Jr.”

            -the next shot reveals that the baby is black-

Earl: “I’m talking about karma.”
Randy: “Who’s karma?”
Earl: “I don’t know…something Carson Daly came up with.”

Patty the Daytime Hooker (to Kenny): “Hey sweetie, I’m from Greenpeace. I need to talk to you about the sky and the whales and all that crap.”

Joy: “I want half that lotto money, Earl!”
Earl: “Yeah, well I want a legitimate baby and wife who doesn’t huff paint on Thanksgiving! But, I guess life’s full of little disappointments now, ain’t it!?”

Kenny: “Thanks for pinning me down to the ground, prying my eyes open with your fingers, and then pouring the milk in. I think that really helped a lot!”

Earl: “Yeah, well, when you steal enough purses you learn a thing or two about mace.”

Kenny: “You’re talking about karma.”

Earl: “You’re a Carson Daly fan too, huh?”

Additional Notes: A few shots of Earl’s List can be seen from time to time. The items are numbered, but the numbering of some of the list items have a tendency to change between episodes. Of note is Number 62 (“Threw Carol’s alarm clock out the window”). Number 62 is changed to “siphoned gas” in a later episode of Season One, and “Carol” is never mentioned again in the entire show.

-Trace Adkins, who is talking to Carson Daly on the tv that Earl watches in the hospital, was one of the actors who auditioned to play Earl

-The man Randy dances with at the gay bar is Greg Garcia, the show’s creator and executive producer

-There were initially 259 items on Earl’s list (Earl says, “one down, 258 to go” after he crosses Kenny off). Earl will add items to the list as the show goes on because he still occasionally messes up and does bad things.

Conclusion: Watching the first episode of the show after watching the later seasons is something of a strange experience. It lacks much of the zany and whacky antics that later defined the show’s humor. Still, it shows some character development from Earl. Initially, he is uncomfortable when he finds out that Kenny is gay, but after going back to get to know him, he learns that Kenny is a pretty good guy and they become friends. The pilot is solid entry in the series and good start to My Name Is Earl.

Yep. That's What Manifest Destiny Was All About

On Twitter, Marco Rubio (R-FL), said the following:

"America is the first power in history motivated by a desire to expand freedom rather than its own territory"

As the Native Americans can tell you, this is true. During the 19th Century, our freedom was expanded across the continent. The Trail of Tears? More like tears of joy from all the freedom we were bringing to them!