Irony Meter Overcharge of the Week

Donald Rumsfeld, one of the most incompetent Secretaries of Defense in the history of this country (so much so that eight retired Generals called for his resignation back in April 2006), has demolished an irony meter by slamming Obama's foreign policy and claiming that a "trained ape" could do better.  

"This Administration, the White House, and the State Department, have failed to get a status of forces agreement. A trained ape could get a status of forces agreement. It doesn't take a genius."

Funny enough, an ape wouldn't need any training to do a better job as Secretary of Defense than Rumsfeld.

CNN should be ashamed of themselves

Good God, I know CNN hasn't been anything resembling a decent news organization in many, many years but this type of shit is straight up TMZ level anti-journalism. A "psychic" named Lisa Williams was interviewed by "Dr." Drew Pinsky on his show about the disappearance of the Malaysian Airlines plane. She actually claimed she avoids "hard, concrete evidence" to do her job properly.

"Naturally, I don't have hard, concrete evidence." Lisa Williams confessed. "I think any psychic who has hard, concrete evidence can't do their job correctly. They'll just work off what they know. I tend to work off what I don't know."

 That's right. She believes that you have to ignore evidence in order to find out the truth of the matter.

It's a testament to society's failings that people like this are given legitimacy by the mainstream media and can build a career off of conning the gullible. Next up, CNN should bring out Tila Tequila so we can hear her theories on how the Evil Jewish Illuminati Shadow Government made the plane disappear with alien magic.

Twitter Trends of the Day

Only on the internet can Starbucks and the NFL trend in unison with things about rape culture and ruining children's books.

Rand Paul Forgets What Decade It Is

That's the only way I can explain this, at least.

I know the point was the counteract the "War on Women" claims, but couldn't he have a picked a more recent Democratic political sex scandal? Was he asleep through the whole Anthony Wiener media circus?

Also, it completely ignores the GOP policies such as mandatory ultrasound laws that restrict the reproductive rights of women. And the repeal of Wisconsin's Equal Pay Act. And then there's the prevalence of the Religious Right. Those policies are the reason the phrase "War on Women" exists. It's hyperbolic, sure, but you can't deny that the GOP's social policies haven't been very respectful of women's rights as of late.

Rand Paul can't really address the issues without angering the base (really, no one in the GOP can seem to), but he can deflect such statements by pointing out the sexual indiscretions of Democratic politicians. He just needs to remember to point out one from recently, and not one from fifteen years ago.

My trip to Comic Con

It's been a while since my last update, so why not update on a personal note.

My family and I went to Comic Con yesterday. Not the real Comic Con, mind you, that's not until Summer, it's in San Diego, and we're not sure if it's in our budget. It was Portland's Comic Con at the Convention Center. The lines were, as you might expect, insanely long. I can't even imagine how long the lines at the real Comic Con would be.

My Dad and I actually to get on line twice. The first line was in the lobby. After that, we got on line to get our bracelets to get into the actual show. Although the first hour didn't go so well for me (I don't like big crowds), it turned out to have been worth it.

The downstairs area was full of merchandize from all sorts of comics and tv shows. One of the biggest was Doctor Who. I didn't buy anything since I'm not a merchandize sort of person. My sister's a big fan of Doctor Who, but I don't think she bought any shirts from that franchise. She bought the Sunnydale High School t-shirt from the Buffy franchise. There was quite a bit of merchandise from Harry Potter as well, including the Deathly Hallows symbol.

We had initially been planning on getting a photo OP with Nicholas Brendan, one of the celebrities who was attending the Comic Con. We didn't get there in time, but we were able to go to a Q/A with him later on in the afternoon. Most of the questions were Buffy related (since Xander Harris is his most recognizable character), but there were a few that involved his recurring character on Criminal Minds. The biggest question was how he ended up getting the part of Xander. I say this because Mr. Brendan had a interesting story about that. He was originally the second choice for the part and was initially called over to the studio in order to compete with the then primary choice for Xander. That guy was an actor named Daniel Cerny, the lead for Children of the Corn III. (Nicholas Brendan also appeared in that movie in a bit part as a basketball player). Brendan ended up nailing the part so well that when Cerny came on later he couldn't compete. A week later, Nicholas Brendan gets a call from the studio informing him that he got the part. I think it's fitting that no one actually knew the name of the actor in Children of the Corn III, just that he was the lead actor (I actually had to look him up for this blog post.)

I asked a question of my own. "What do you think was the most difficult scene for you to film on Buffy?" This actually stumped him! Me, the guy who has trouble speaking up loudly enough for my parents to hear when they're sitting on the couch five feet away, managed to stump a professional actor with my question! Nicholas Brendan had to think about it for a bit, and he said that it was the chase scene in "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered" that was the hardest. I'm pretty proud of that question.

A funny moment happened earlier on in the Q/A when the two people sitting in front of us left in the middle of Nicholas Brendan's speech. Right after they left the exit door, Brendan called after them with a very terse, "Bye, guys!" The whole room was cracking up right then.

It was a very fun day. I was going to blog about it as soon as I got home, but I had homework to do and that comes first. I'm glad I've gotten it done now. I've been wanting to update this blog for a while.

Weirdest Lyrics of 2013: "S***" by Future

First off, yes, that's the actual name of the song. Not only that, but the chorus rhymes the titular word with itself four times. Second off, Future, who normally sounds like he's drowning because of auto tune, decided to sing this song without out. Consequently, he sounds like he's dehydrated and gasping for breath. Third, and most importantly, the song's title is quite apt because the song itself is about the typical mainstream rap topics: swag, bitches, money, hoes, drugs, cars, and partying at the club. None of these things are the weird lyrics of this song, though. Those are at the start of the first verse:

"Bought the ho a hunned pair of red bottoms

That's a quarter milly on a hand job my nigga"

I'm sure you can figure out what's wrong with this picture. If you haven't, isn't it obvious? "Nigga" does not even remotely rhyme with "bottoms." Seriously, there's slant rhyming and then there's just not even trying. To be fair, whenever a line ends in "bottoms" there's a good chance that the songwriter wasn't planning out the rhyme scheme ahead of time because most rappers will resort to slant or forced rhyming after a line like that. Even so, that's still better than just not trying to rhyme it at all.

And also, $250,000 FUCKING DOLLARS FOR A HAND JOB!?!?! 

Jesus Christ, I thought the 19-year-old girl from Queens who spent over $2100 on a designer handbag  was wasting her money. This? I mean...what the fuck!? Who spends that much money for someone to fondle his five-iron? Certainly not Future, because he doesn't actually have that many hit songs. He's a millionaire, but he's not an uber-rich rap superstar like Lil Wayne or Jay Z. There's no way he can afford to blow $250k on schlong massages.

What else does he spend his money on? "Yo, I spent a half milly on a lap dance and a full three milly on my Lamborghini, bitch! Yo, my swag clothes cost me fifty grand, muthfucka!"

Something this ridiculous just can't be made up.

 

OMFG! Obama is talking to Aliens!

So says Jim Garrow. You see, Obama's scandals are actually manufactured...by Obama himself! They're distractions from his Secret Plan B. His failed Plan A, of course, was to launch a nuclear attack on America and wipe out 90% of the population in order to help George Soros financially or something. His Plan B is talking to aliens. He discussed this with Erik Rush and Nancy Smith, host of the very possibly satirical "Politichicks."

"What we're going to see soon is an unveiling of the concept that we have in fact been contacted by and have been in communication with people from other civilizations from beyond the earth and that will be part of the great deception that is forthcoming soon from Mr. Obama."

This reminds of one fifty something nutball I overheard a few months ago at the bus station in Oregon City on my way to college. He rambled on about some secret alien civilization, Obama's plan for a third term, and his birth certificate. This guy, like Garrow, had been listening to too much Coast to Coast AM. I wanted to say something, but I didn't, because it's very rude to make fun of the mentally handicapped.

This Garrow guy seems to be legit, as does Erik Rush. With this level of crazy being promoted in complete seriousness, it wouldn't surprise me if there were somebody out there who legitimately believes that Obama is Cthulhu.