Tila Tequila…WTF

Celebrities who are famous for fifteen minutes because they don't actually have any talent usually get desperate to stay relevant after their time in the limelight is up. Tila Tequila (real name Tila Nguyen) is one of those celebrities. She was a Playboy Model back in the early 2000s before finally becoming famous due to MySpace. Yeah, remember when MySpace was still a thing that people used? MySpace was HUGE back in 2006-07. I never got into it, but it sure seemed like everyone at my High School had a MySpace account. And because there were a lot of teenage boys on MySpace, Miss Nguyen, being a hot chick with lots of nude photos, had no trouble reeling in friends and subscribers on that site at the height of its popularity in 2006. She was the most subscribed person on the site at the time, having over 2 million friends. That's probably more than the entire subscriber base of MySpace today.

Since she was popular on the internet, some of the geniuses in the entertainment industry decided that that meant she was also talented. She appeared in Maxim Magazine a few times and was a contestant on Ted Nugent's VH1 Reality Show Survivng Nugent. Yeah, Ted Nugent had a short lived reality show. 2006 was a bizarre year. In 2007, Tila released an album called Sex. The "music" on that thing was about exactly what you think it's about. Later that year, Tila got a deal with MTV and was given her own reality show called A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila. This was a dating show in which several steroid-pumped boneheads would "compete" for a chance to get a date with her. The twist was that she was bisexual or something and that some lesbians were also competing for a chance to scissor with her as well. This was the start of her fifteen minutes of fame. She was a big deal for the kinds of people who regularly read gossip magazines, tabloids, and celebrity "news" sites. She mentioned in an interview that her nickname "Tila Tequila" was a reference to her experimenting with liquor at age thirteen, so she was a fantastic role model for the kids. Her show had a second season in 2008. She even released a self-help book about hooking up. 

In 2009, she disappeared off the face of the planet. She's been trying desperately to get back into the media spotlight since then, with a sex tape she made with two other porn actresses being "leaked" in 2011, and a "suicide attempt" involving an overdose on sleeping pills in April of last year. 

A few days ago, she posted a picture of herself on her Facebook standing in front of Auschwitz wearing an SS hat and a swastika armband. She also wrote a blog post detailing why she sympathizes with Adolf Hitler and that history was rewritten after the defeat of the Nazis in World War II.

Am I even awake right now? God, the Ted Cruz coloring book, the Herman Cain comic book, and now this!? Christ, I've had dreams where I've walked on ceilings and travelled into polka-dot dimensions that were less unbelievable than what I've seen and heard about in the last three days! 

Tila claimed she wasn't an anti-semite on that blog post. Or at least I think she did. You try making any sense out of this nonsensical clusterfuck of incoherence:

 I am not going to sit here and say that I hate Jewish people because that is not the case nor is this about Jews.  It is about Hitler and his side of the story that was never told since he was not the victor. However, those of you with a closed mind can think I am being anti-semite all you want because I already told you that I am not, nor will I repeat myself again.   I, just like you, used to view Hitler as an atrocious monster!  How could such EVIL exist in this world?  As a matter of fact I even made a youtube video a while back showing sympathy for the prisoners of war during WW2 so you cannot say that I am a racist nor anti-semite.  I was merely brainwashed just like all of you have been.  Sure of course there will always be casualties of war and those of you who oppose my views or want to say hateful things about me for sympathizing with Hitler need to realize just how deep this fucked up propaganda goes in attempts to cover up the true historical facts that took place.

If she isn't an anti-semite than how does she explain the lyrics to her new song "It's Going Down," with lyrics like "Worldwide genocide blame it on the Jews?" She's "not an anti-semite" in the same way that the person who came up with the "Don't Re-nig" bumper sticker in last year's election "wasn't a racist." 

As for the actual song itself, the pro-Nazi sentiments aren't the only things wrong with it. The rhyme scheme is so forced it would embarrass 2 Chainz. Here's a few examples:

And my personal favorite: 

I wonder what her next song will be? "Gestapo Swag" or "Mengele's Bitch," probably. I'll even make it easier for her by writing a first line out for her: "Fuck Ilsa, Tila Tequila's the new She-Wolf up in this Bitch!"