Monday, December 23, 2013

Weird State Laws #6: Colorado

Colorado, the home state of South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone, has some weird laws that not even they can make fun of. I'll try my best to make fun of them myself, though.
One may not mutilate a rock in state park
This law was passed after much arm-twisting by the Stonepeace, the state's inflexible Rocks' Rights activist group.
It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence
 Doing so can result it in Eqqus Ferus Caballular Manslaughter.
Car dealers may not show cars on Sundays.
This is the weirdest blue law I've ever heard of. Is showing cars somehow conflicting with your duty to keep the Sabbath holy? As long as you're not doing it before 12 Noon, you should be fine.
Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses
Good. It's nice to see that Colorado is one of the few states where children will never have to suffer traumatic dreams of the cops coming to get them for accidentally ripping off those tags.

Some of the weirdest laws are at the local level. Here's some from Alamosa:
Throwing missiles at cars is illegal
 Better makes sure it's a truck before you throw a missile at it
Persons may not urinate in public
Just in case you missed the part about that being against the public indecency laws of all 50 states. Except perhaps Florida. You never know with that state…

Also it's technically illegal in New York City but no one really gives a shit about it there.

Here's some weird local laws form some other towns:
In Aspen, catapults may not be fired at buildings
Man, I've heard some crazy stories about the things the tourists do, but I've never heard of them trying to turn Aspen into a Medieval Battlefield. They must get really drunk.
In Denver, it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next door neighbor
Perhaps this is a way of cracking down on drug dealers? I hear they've been known to hide cocaine inside the bags.
In Boulder, it is legal to challenge a police officer, but only until he or she asks you to stop
I would imagine it wouldn't take long for that question to pop up.

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